are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize