i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
