we have officially lost it.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
