Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
