if you like me you must not know who I am
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
