I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
