she looked like the before picture.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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