Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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