$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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