It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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