dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
