Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize