Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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