the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
