it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
