You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
