Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
