Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
