Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
