i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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