I didn't shave. On purpose
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
