It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
