5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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