i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize