Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
