i just google imaged poop.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
