What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
