Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
