all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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