on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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