At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
