New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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