It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
