dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
