May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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