You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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