I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
