no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
