how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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