Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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