I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
