woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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