I want to have your abortion
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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