I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize