Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
