Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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