I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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