Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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