ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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