she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
