Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize