I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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