Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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