Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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