I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
