As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
