have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
