you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
