She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize