Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
