I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
