I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
