allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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