So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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