well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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