We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
